Disclaimer: This week’s newsletter is not about Paris per se but about how I as a Black woman am managing as an expat in Paris. Despite what it looks like on the gram living in Paris is a constant negotiation of what I want for my life. As an American woman in Paris life is definitely lifing and with each passing year I learn more about myself. I don’t know if the lessons would be identical if I were in my home country, but I do know that learning these lessons whilst abroad feels more intense.
And just like that it’s 2024. I am so grateful to the Almighty that I made it through. 2023 was no joke. There were so many joyous moments and there were moments of immense sadness. I lost my father in 2023. I felt disenchanted with Paris is 2023. For the first time in a long time my stability was rocked in 2023 and I felt confused about so many things. I found love in 2023 and for the first time in a long time began using the word we instead of I.
Despite the ups and downs what sustained me was knowing who I am and what I can handle. I’m unshakable and because of my faith. I’m excited and hopeful for 2024 and decided to share 23 things that I either learned or reinforced in 2023. Some of these ideas are controversial but that’s my business. At forty-four I’m comfortable with my ideas because they’re shaped by my experiences. I am me take it or leave it, and if you leave it ask me if I’ll lose an ounce of sleep. Here we go!
Learn To Embrace Change. 2023 was the year of change. I changed jobs which was huge for me. Although I had outgrown my prior company I wasn’t quite ready to move on. Despite initial feelings of fear I’m now in a great space and I’ve returned to school to pivot careers. I have more time for Paris Chic Code and a ton of irons in the fire. I’m elated about my future.
I Am Not For Everyone and that’s okay. If everyone likes me then it likely means that I’m not setting boundaries, and people pleasing. Being unique will always ruffle feathers because you don’t group think. I am perfectly okay with not being a part of the herd.
Therapy Is A Bill We Just Gone Have To Pay. To quote our in-house Paris Chic Code therapist
therapy is wellness on par with medical, dental and vision and I couldn’t agree with her more.The Work Is A Marathon Not A Sprint. Building or rebuilding confidence is not one and done. Reminding yourself of how great you are and what you deserve is a constant. You will come across people that will try and bring you down to their size. As a result, one’s self-confidence and self-concept must be high and solidified. Naturally you will have peaks and valleys. You will be tried. Know who you are and never ever let anyone tell you who you’re not.
Get Fly Because WTF Are We Doing Otherwise? I’ve always said it. When you look good you feel good. I feel my very best when I put effort into how I appear to the world. This sentiment was heightened after moving to Paris. A Parisian woman always considers how she presents herself to the world. Despite American society being aggressively casual, I abide by the Paris Chic Code. Get dressed for you and your wellbeing!
Humility Isn’t Always Necessary. I’ve always said it. Do you ever notice that the call for humility is never requested of men? It’s always women who are asked to bow our heads and be humble. F*ck all that sis. Talk your shit! Sometimes you must let folks know that you’re that girl. I’ve had to gather a few people in 2023 on some do you know who I am and wtf I’ve accomplished? Put some respect on my damn name!
If It Doesn’t Serve Me I’m Not Doing It. No is an answer. I’ve gotten very comfortable with saying no and not feeling bad about it.
F*ck Imposter Syndrome. You Belong Sis! I hosted a tour full of monied white women from Dallas and I literally felt like I didn’t belong. Before the tour I had no idea that this was called Imposter Syndrome but whilst sharing my feelings of inadequacy to a friend I learned the term. Imagine me not feeling adequate. Me? Someone who has a ten-year tenure in luxury fashion and was a million-dollar book with Louis Vuitton. I may not be wealthy but I have impeccable taste, class, and I’m well versed in the luxury fashion industry. I was there because I was the perfect fit. Hell, if not me then who?
Every Woman Needs A Rose. The rose has been a game changer for me this year and my biggest regret was not listening to my Parisian aunties who told me to get it sooner. Women must know their bodies and what brings them pleasure. The rose has helped me discover that for myself.
Perfect Relationships Are A Lie From The Pits Of Hell and anyone that says otherwise is lying.
My Most Precious Memories Consist Of Time Spent With Family. I’ve been in Paris ten years now. Next year makes eleven. I’ve traveled, done and seen all the things. Despite all that I’ve seen and done my most enjoyable moments are the ones spent with my family and close friends at home. At forty-four what floats my boat is the love I receive from them.
Have Your Garments Tailored. Having a tailor on retainer has been a game changer for me especially since my weight fluctuates. I definitely recommend having one.
If They Require You To Dim Your Light It’s Because Theirs Ain’t Shining. When one has joy sometimes they attract those who lack it. Those who lack joy and positivity will suck the life out of those who have it. Learn to love these people from a distance. Protect your peace.
Quality Over Quantity. I’ve always said it. When I don’t feel at my best I over consume. Overconsumption for me looks like food, things, clothing, or anything that gives me a temporary fix. As a result, I’ve accumulated things that I don’t need nor value. In 2023 I rid myself of said practice and I love it here.
Body Positivity Is A Jedi Mind Trick Created By The Dominate Society To Keep Black Women Unhealthy, Overweight, And Undesirable. This one is not going to be a popular one but hear me out. Black women have the highest rates of obesity or being overweight compared to other groups in the United States. 56.9% of Black women are classified as obese, me included. What’s more is that Black women incur systemic racism in the healthcare system, poverty, and lack of access to healthcare. As a result, Black women face a greater risk of developing health conditions worsened by obesity such as diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. Obesity is killing Black women and I want better for us. Period.
Time Is The Ultimate Luxury. I’ve always said it. I’ll trade money for time any day of the week.
Start That New Thing. I started Substack in May and I didn’t think anyone would pay for my writing. To be honest I don’t consider myself a writer. What I do know is how to talk to people. I know how to relate to people and I keep it real. With each subscription I am surprised because some of y’all really f*ck with me the long way. Y’all have no idea how grateful I am.
Me First. Call it selfish, vain or whatever you want, but I refuse to pour from an empty cup. I will always put Latrice first.
Two Things Can be True At One Time. I no longer operate in a this or that, black or white mindset. I try to be openminded and recognize that I don’t have all the answers. Rarely are things as simple as black or white.
Create The Life You Want and be relentless until you get it.
You Have Not Because You Asked Not. The kids call this manifesting but it actually comes from the good book. Be specific in what you ask for and you shall receive it.
Live your faith out loud. I am a blessed woman and I am unapologetic about screaming it from the rooftops. The experiences I’ve encountered are not luck, they are blessings. I used to be afraid of talking about my faith because I didn’t want to alienate folks but at the end of the day why the hell should I be afraid of talking about my GOD? I live the life I live because HE has kept HIS hands on me. Thank you Lord.
Life comes in phases, enjoy this one and be present and when the next phase comes you will give it your all.
Paris Chic Code Services
Paris Chic Code started as an Expat Consulting business and has since expanded into the travel planning and personal shopping realm. Those of you interested in moving to Paris can book a consultation with me at www.parischiccode.com. Those interested in help with planning your trip to Paris, I can help you here. Chic Code girlies interested in personal shopping services can book with me here.
Another great read and such a great topic for the New Year! Honestly ALL 23 Speak to me, however in 2024, I’m Definitely going to put “Me First” more 🤗. Congratulations on going back to school, my most said motto is, “I’m forever a student” because I’m always interested and down to educate myself more 🙃 Oh and yea Love is Definitely Hard, but can also be a wonderful thing 🥰 Cheers🥂 to another year of doing what “We want while accomplishing our next goals”💯
Cheers to 2024. Keep inspiring us to be our best selves! Jewels were definitely dropped in this article sis!